Reflections on the past year, baby gender reveal, and pregnancy thoughts

As the year of 2015 comes to a close, I am sitting on my couch with laptop under my ever expanding belly, watching my Russian tortoise, thinking about what this past year has brought. This year has been hard, for sure, but it has also been full of blessings. Last New Year's was the last time I saw Tim until right before our wedding. Our wedding had hiccups, like any wedding naturally does, but through it all, Tim and I pulled closer together. We've argued through the 8 months of being married, but we really don't fight as hard or meanly anymore. We've learned to compromise and how to work better as a team. We've battled sickness, hard times with jobs, uncertainty with residency, and major life changes, both good and bad. I can honestly say that I wouldn't change a thing, because it has led me to where we are today.

Today, we are a 2.5, or a 5.5, depending on how you look at it (2 adults, an over halfway grown baby in my uterus, 2 turtles, and 1 fish). Tim is employed at a company that keeps him on his toes, and pays him well. Our apartment is full to overflowing based on on the love and gifts that many people have given us. I am waiting to submit my match list so that I can hopefully enter the field of obstetrics and gynecology. And we are both anxiously waiting for our little baby boy to grow and develop well in me.

We had quite the gender reveal. We decided, more like Tim suggested and I agreed, and later on actually agreed with him fully that it was the right idea, to wait on learning the gender. We had the ultrasound technician turn off the screen when the gender part came on the screen, and had her put the picture in a sealed envelope for us. Then we had to wait for 9 days to see what our baby would be. We bought white clothing and beige pants to be stained with food coloring. We bought special black opaque balloons that would be filled with water and either red or blue food coloring. I invited a bunch of people, ended up having a small group showed, which worked out perfectly. We started the day prepping the food and then waiting around to put everything out, so it didn't become too cold or too warm. Once the guests arrived, adorned in either blue or pink, I pinned them with matching ribbons, and then had my dad pray over the food. We played a few games: answering old wive's tales about gender predictions, pin the baby on the stork, and baby pictionary. After that, we had the guests write wishes for our baby as we got changed. We trucked everyone outside, and then waited to get pelted with water balloons. Unfortunately, the balloons weren't filled up very full, so most of them bounced off of us. One finally did break, revealing blue. I then started picking up balloons and breaking them on myself. We are having a little boy.

We had made a short list of names that we liked, and that night, Tim and I prayed over what we should name our little boy. All throughout that night as I slept, one name kept reappearing in my dreams, "Preston Reed Harbison". I told Tim that when I woke up around 3am, and then we agreed when we were both fully awake later on.

I have to admit, I started out being nervous when the balloon broke and showed blue, and not red. As an only child, and being a girl, I don't have much experience with little boys, let alone raising them. I was routing for a girl, because I at least understand how girls think, since I am one. Boys are an entirely different story; getting dirty, getting in trouble, random injuries, and peeing standing up. But as the days have passed, I've become more calm and excited about being the mom of a boy. Yes, it will be hard and very stressful at times, but I am actually more equipped to handle it than I initially thought. Since I'm going to be a doctor, I do know how to take care of most minor injuries, the sight of blood doesn't phase me, and I was the girl who climbed trees in a dress and brought all sorts of animals from outside inside. I think I can handle this. I'm still not sure how to teach Preston how to pee standing up, but Tim reminds me not to worry, and just to take each thing day by day.

I've loved being able to feel Preston more and more every day. From about 12 weeks, when I first felt him squirm, to 17 weeks when I started to feel him daily, to now, 21 weeks when he gets really rambunctious and energetic when I sit in a certain position and gives me little love punches and kicks to me. I love seeing how he reacts to different things I eat, when Tim reads to him, or listening to different music. He's started to develop his own personality.

I love how my pregnancy has affected my husband. He's become even more loving and supportive. He now spends time talking to and rubbing my belly. He makes sure to read to Preston almost every other day, and is sure to kept me fed and in as little pain as possible (due to random pregnancy pains that really don't make much sense). I love seeing the excitement in his eyes and the playful way he teases Preston. I just wish that Preston wouldn't calm down whenever Tim puts his hand on my belly. Then, absence of movement starts. Oh well, soon he'll be able to easily tell the movements of his son.

I'm excited to see all that 2016 has in store for our little family. Finding out about residency, moving, Tim changing jobs, Tim maybe starting grad school, the birth of our son, my graduation from medical school, and so much more. I am so thankful for everything that God has done for us so far.

Becoming and Being Pregnant

I know that it has been quite awhile since I've last posted an update. Things have been busy, mostly in a good way. Tim and I have settled in NY for now and I've been going around to different hospitals learning how to practice medicine. In the midst of this, I became pregnant.

I've always wanted to be a mom. When I was little and growing up, I was wanting to have other siblings to play with. Unfortunately, my mom was only blessed in having me. That led to a greater desire to have many children of my own. A good amount, but not too many that we couldn't give enough love and affection for each of them.

As soon as Tim and I became serious with each other, we started thinking about when we would start a family. Like me, Tim has always wanted to be a parent. He's the guy who would offer to babysit the kids of his friends in school, and he's absolutely spectacular with kids. He is much better with them than I am. We knew that there would be no good time to have kids, especially with the careers that we're pursuing: me becoming an OBGYN doctor and Tim getting his PhD in physics. So, after much discussing, we prayed and asked Heavenly Father when it would be a good time to start trying. We got our answer that it was time to start in June.

Trying to get pregnant was both fun and frustrating at times. It became a bit of a pressure for both of us to get this to work, and every time I took a pregnancy test and it was negative, I was heartbroken. But we knew not to give up and to keep trying. It might take up to a year, because I know the statistics pretty well, given the specialty I'm planning on pursuing.

On a Friday night on the last day of September, I was helping Tim because he was struggling with some social concern. I knew that I needed to comfort him. The next day, I got the strong impression that I should take a pregnancy test. I wasn't due to start my period until that Tuesday, but I followed the prompting. It turned pretty quickly to positive. I called Tim in, and we both stared in shock. We then had to wait a few hours before I could take another test to confirm it. God had answered our prayers, and I was pregnant.

We were both so thrilled, and have been throughout this pregnancy so far. I'm currently at 18 weeks and 1 day. It has been an adventure: from seeing our little squish for the first time right before 9 weeks and hearing its heartbeat, to watching it squirm for us at 12 and 14.5 weeks. Baby is growing up so fast and getting so big. And now I'm feeling baby on a daily basis, which is such a blessing. This is why I'm so interested in the field of obstetrics and gynecology, I love the interplay between mom and baby, and I'm getting to observe it on a first hand basis.

The little nudges are like baby's way of trying to tell me, Hey Mom, I'm down here, just playing around, and can't wait to meet you and Dad. I have gotten to the point where I hold my hand on my abdomen and try to feel baby on the outside so that I can show Tim how to do it. 

This is such a great gift that God has bestowed on us. He gave all of us the potential to create life, just like He does. We just need to remember to use the gift and not to abuse it. And I am so thankful that I have Tim along with me in this process. I could never have managed to get this far on my own. It is such a great comfort to know that my best friend is alongside me, through the ups and downs of hormones, crazy sleeping, and my ever expanding belly. He is my right hand, my rock, and my spiritual guider. I thank God each and every day for him and his help.

Soon, we'll be getting the ultrasound to determine baby's gender. We're doing a reveal on Christmas Eve. Tim and I both want opposite genders, but what we really want is a healthy baby. Let's see what happens!