Reflections on the past year, baby gender reveal, and pregnancy thoughts

As the year of 2015 comes to a close, I am sitting on my couch with laptop under my ever expanding belly, watching my Russian tortoise, thinking about what this past year has brought. This year has been hard, for sure, but it has also been full of blessings. Last New Year's was the last time I saw Tim until right before our wedding. Our wedding had hiccups, like any wedding naturally does, but through it all, Tim and I pulled closer together. We've argued through the 8 months of being married, but we really don't fight as hard or meanly anymore. We've learned to compromise and how to work better as a team. We've battled sickness, hard times with jobs, uncertainty with residency, and major life changes, both good and bad. I can honestly say that I wouldn't change a thing, because it has led me to where we are today.

Today, we are a 2.5, or a 5.5, depending on how you look at it (2 adults, an over halfway grown baby in my uterus, 2 turtles, and 1 fish). Tim is employed at a company that keeps him on his toes, and pays him well. Our apartment is full to overflowing based on on the love and gifts that many people have given us. I am waiting to submit my match list so that I can hopefully enter the field of obstetrics and gynecology. And we are both anxiously waiting for our little baby boy to grow and develop well in me.

We had quite the gender reveal. We decided, more like Tim suggested and I agreed, and later on actually agreed with him fully that it was the right idea, to wait on learning the gender. We had the ultrasound technician turn off the screen when the gender part came on the screen, and had her put the picture in a sealed envelope for us. Then we had to wait for 9 days to see what our baby would be. We bought white clothing and beige pants to be stained with food coloring. We bought special black opaque balloons that would be filled with water and either red or blue food coloring. I invited a bunch of people, ended up having a small group showed, which worked out perfectly. We started the day prepping the food and then waiting around to put everything out, so it didn't become too cold or too warm. Once the guests arrived, adorned in either blue or pink, I pinned them with matching ribbons, and then had my dad pray over the food. We played a few games: answering old wive's tales about gender predictions, pin the baby on the stork, and baby pictionary. After that, we had the guests write wishes for our baby as we got changed. We trucked everyone outside, and then waited to get pelted with water balloons. Unfortunately, the balloons weren't filled up very full, so most of them bounced off of us. One finally did break, revealing blue. I then started picking up balloons and breaking them on myself. We are having a little boy.

We had made a short list of names that we liked, and that night, Tim and I prayed over what we should name our little boy. All throughout that night as I slept, one name kept reappearing in my dreams, "Preston Reed Harbison". I told Tim that when I woke up around 3am, and then we agreed when we were both fully awake later on.

I have to admit, I started out being nervous when the balloon broke and showed blue, and not red. As an only child, and being a girl, I don't have much experience with little boys, let alone raising them. I was routing for a girl, because I at least understand how girls think, since I am one. Boys are an entirely different story; getting dirty, getting in trouble, random injuries, and peeing standing up. But as the days have passed, I've become more calm and excited about being the mom of a boy. Yes, it will be hard and very stressful at times, but I am actually more equipped to handle it than I initially thought. Since I'm going to be a doctor, I do know how to take care of most minor injuries, the sight of blood doesn't phase me, and I was the girl who climbed trees in a dress and brought all sorts of animals from outside inside. I think I can handle this. I'm still not sure how to teach Preston how to pee standing up, but Tim reminds me not to worry, and just to take each thing day by day.

I've loved being able to feel Preston more and more every day. From about 12 weeks, when I first felt him squirm, to 17 weeks when I started to feel him daily, to now, 21 weeks when he gets really rambunctious and energetic when I sit in a certain position and gives me little love punches and kicks to me. I love seeing how he reacts to different things I eat, when Tim reads to him, or listening to different music. He's started to develop his own personality.

I love how my pregnancy has affected my husband. He's become even more loving and supportive. He now spends time talking to and rubbing my belly. He makes sure to read to Preston almost every other day, and is sure to kept me fed and in as little pain as possible (due to random pregnancy pains that really don't make much sense). I love seeing the excitement in his eyes and the playful way he teases Preston. I just wish that Preston wouldn't calm down whenever Tim puts his hand on my belly. Then, absence of movement starts. Oh well, soon he'll be able to easily tell the movements of his son.

I'm excited to see all that 2016 has in store for our little family. Finding out about residency, moving, Tim changing jobs, Tim maybe starting grad school, the birth of our son, my graduation from medical school, and so much more. I am so thankful for everything that God has done for us so far.

Becoming and Being Pregnant

I know that it has been quite awhile since I've last posted an update. Things have been busy, mostly in a good way. Tim and I have settled in NY for now and I've been going around to different hospitals learning how to practice medicine. In the midst of this, I became pregnant.

I've always wanted to be a mom. When I was little and growing up, I was wanting to have other siblings to play with. Unfortunately, my mom was only blessed in having me. That led to a greater desire to have many children of my own. A good amount, but not too many that we couldn't give enough love and affection for each of them.

As soon as Tim and I became serious with each other, we started thinking about when we would start a family. Like me, Tim has always wanted to be a parent. He's the guy who would offer to babysit the kids of his friends in school, and he's absolutely spectacular with kids. He is much better with them than I am. We knew that there would be no good time to have kids, especially with the careers that we're pursuing: me becoming an OBGYN doctor and Tim getting his PhD in physics. So, after much discussing, we prayed and asked Heavenly Father when it would be a good time to start trying. We got our answer that it was time to start in June.

Trying to get pregnant was both fun and frustrating at times. It became a bit of a pressure for both of us to get this to work, and every time I took a pregnancy test and it was negative, I was heartbroken. But we knew not to give up and to keep trying. It might take up to a year, because I know the statistics pretty well, given the specialty I'm planning on pursuing.

On a Friday night on the last day of September, I was helping Tim because he was struggling with some social concern. I knew that I needed to comfort him. The next day, I got the strong impression that I should take a pregnancy test. I wasn't due to start my period until that Tuesday, but I followed the prompting. It turned pretty quickly to positive. I called Tim in, and we both stared in shock. We then had to wait a few hours before I could take another test to confirm it. God had answered our prayers, and I was pregnant.

We were both so thrilled, and have been throughout this pregnancy so far. I'm currently at 18 weeks and 1 day. It has been an adventure: from seeing our little squish for the first time right before 9 weeks and hearing its heartbeat, to watching it squirm for us at 12 and 14.5 weeks. Baby is growing up so fast and getting so big. And now I'm feeling baby on a daily basis, which is such a blessing. This is why I'm so interested in the field of obstetrics and gynecology, I love the interplay between mom and baby, and I'm getting to observe it on a first hand basis.

The little nudges are like baby's way of trying to tell me, Hey Mom, I'm down here, just playing around, and can't wait to meet you and Dad. I have gotten to the point where I hold my hand on my abdomen and try to feel baby on the outside so that I can show Tim how to do it. 

This is such a great gift that God has bestowed on us. He gave all of us the potential to create life, just like He does. We just need to remember to use the gift and not to abuse it. And I am so thankful that I have Tim along with me in this process. I could never have managed to get this far on my own. It is such a great comfort to know that my best friend is alongside me, through the ups and downs of hormones, crazy sleeping, and my ever expanding belly. He is my right hand, my rock, and my spiritual guider. I thank God each and every day for him and his help.

Soon, we'll be getting the ultrasound to determine baby's gender. We're doing a reveal on Christmas Eve. Tim and I both want opposite genders, but what we really want is a healthy baby. Let's see what happens!

Eternal Marriage

My talk on Eternal Marriage from church

                Good morning everyone! For those of who you may not know me, my maiden name is Alicia Brown, and my recently married name is Alicia Harbison. I used to attend the Erie 2^nd ward during my first two years of medical school at LECOM. For the past year I have been living in Horseheads, NY rotating at Arnot Ogden Medical Center. I am currently a 4^th year medical student, who is back in Erie to study for my next big board exam that I will be taking at the beginning of July. I am very thankful to the different families that have opened up their homes for me and Tim to stay in for the past 4 weeks. We are so thankful for your generosity.

                I was given the topic of talking on “Eternal Marriage” and since Tim and I have almost been married for two months now, I thought I would start with a little bit on our story. At the beginning of my 3^rd year of medical school I moved to Horseheads, NY to start my rotations. I was attending the nearby ward, and trying to make friends. One of the young women that I met encouraged me to try to attend the YSA ward of the stake that met in Ithaca. I knew that this may be a bit difficult since I wasn’t living in the ward boundaries of the YSA. However, I got in contact with the branch President and started to attend FHE, institute, and then was officially allowed to go to the meeting that Sunday. I am very thankful to Bishop Duke and President Kreuger for allowing me to do this.

                Tim and I technically met that Monday at FHE where we watched “Frozen”. It wasn’t until the following Sunday during church that we ended up talking, since Tim had given a talk on Father’s Day, and I only knew his name because his name was in the program. I asked him where to go for the next part of church, and then asked if I could join him on a planned movie trip that he was attempting to do. We exchanged phone numbers, and as he puts it, I never stopped texting him since. By that Wednesday we were officially dating. Tim was in Ithaca for the summer due to an internship working on particle accelerators at Cornell University. He grew up in Dallas, TX and was about to start his senior year at BYU-Idaho majoring in physics. We had about 8 weeks of dating while in NY. Then he headed back to Idaho to finish school.

                We started talking about marriage and the importance of it early on. By the time Tim left, we knew that we wanted to get married, both sets of parents knew, and we knew it would only be a long waiting game until Tim graduated for us to get married. Thankfully, I had already set up a rotation in Idaho and then had a break month afterwards which allowed us to be reunited in the fall when Tim proposed, and Tim spent Christmas with my family and me. Then we had about 4 months until I saw him after he graduated. We were sealed in the Palmyra, NY temple on April 25, 2015. It has been extremely hard, meshing two different lives and points of views together, but it has been very worthwhile. Neither of us knew how hard it would be, but we both agree that this is one of the best decisions we have ever made.

                Keeping Christ and the temple in the center of our relationship from the beginning is what made this relationship different for me from any other relationship. We knew of the eternal potential, and wanted us to go the distance together, with Christ at the head. I’ve been in other relationships in the past where one or both of us had different views on God, and that definitely led to their demise. Having a solid foundation in the gospel and its truths helped nurture us.

                From the Bible Dictionary on the topic of marriage, it reads, “Latter-day revelation tells us that marriage under the law of the gospel and the holy priesthood is for eternity, and that men and women thus sealed in marriage continue to have children throughout eternity.” And from Preach my Gospel, “Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and is central to God’s eternal plan for the salvation of His children….[this] enables family relationships to endure beyond the grave.” It goes on to say that the marriage can only be eternal when performed with the sealing power in the temple and if the couple follows the covenants that they have made both together and individually.

                This is what makes marriages in our church significantly different from other people’s marriages. It deals some with wording, a lot with covenants, and what the person believes. For example, I have been to a couple of non LDS weddings after joining the church and it felt so sad to me to hear the words, “til death do us part”. The marriages that those couples have entered into is only temporal, and I have a good guess that most of them would want to be with their spouse forever, but they weren’t sealed. In Matthew 16: 19 Christ is talking to Peter saying, “And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” And later on in Kirtland, OH, Elijah appeared to Joseph Smith and gave him the key to the same sealing power, to once again bind people together for all eternity. This has been passed down through the priesthood to various sealers in different places through the years. That’s why we talk about being married for time and all eternity. For those of us who have been sealed to our spouse, we know that we will stay united forever.

                Eternal marriage is not only to keep love birds together, but it is also essential for our eternal progression. In Doctrine and Covenants 131: 1-4, “In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees: And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]: And if he does not, he cannot obtain it. He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase.” What this passage is saying is that through the eternal covenant of marriage, we help each other make it to the highest degree of the celestial kingdom. By loving each other, following the commandments, and keeping true to the covenants we entered into, we exalt each other. I am as important to Tim’s salvation as Tim is to mine.

                Another interesting part of marriage is the melding together of two separate people into one whole. This is talked about in Matthew 19: 4-6, “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Tim did exactly this. He moved from one side of the country to another, without knowing anybody else really at all, just so that he and I could start our lives together. It has been an interesting change, going from just thinking about how something would affect one person’s life to how it affects both. Trying to put the other person ahead of yourself, just like how Christ taught us to love each other. This is done through a lot of talking, trust, and communication.

                With eternal marriage comes eternal families. Where we are put into family units that are started originally in heaven, come down to earth, meet up, start having children, and then can continue to have children in the eternities. It is one of the earliest commandments, “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it” (Gen 1:26-28). We were given a wonderful commandment to bear children and rear them up in the way of the Lord. A good description of this comes from Sermons and Missionary Services, “There is a passage in our Scriptures which the Latter-Day Saints accept as divine: ‘This is the glory of God – to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man’. Likewise we could say that this is the glory of men and women – to bring to pass the mortality of the sons and daughters of God, to give earth-life, through honorable marriage, to the waiting spirits, our Father’s spirit children who anxiously desire to come to dwell here in this mortal state. All the honor and glory that can come to men or women by the development of their talents, the homage and the praise they may receive from an applauding world, worshipping at their shrine of genius, is but a dim thing whose luster shall fade in comparison to the high honor, the eternal glory, the ever-enduring happiness that shall come to the woman who fulfils the first great duty and mission that devolves upon her to become the mother of the sons and daughters of God.” What a spectacular glory that will be. I know that Tim and I eagerly anticipate that day.

                I would like to conclude my talk by bearing my testimony. I know that this gospel is true. I know that God has a plan in mind for each of us, one better than we could have ever imagined. That’s what led Tim and I to each other a little over a year ago, and we are both eternally better for it. I know of the truthfulness of eternal marriages, the struggles that come, but that we can grow better and closer to each other as we follow our covenants and commandments of God. I would also like to thank this ward who first took a shy girl into their arms back in October 2012 when I first joined the church. You all made this transition so much better. I say all these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

The Importance of Motherhood

With my marriage to my best friend, Timothy Harbison, right around the corner (3 months away), I have a lot of thoughts going through my mind. What's it going to be like? Will I get everything done in time? Will I be able to make it until then? And questions of the like. One thing that I've been thinking about a lot is my desire to become a mother.

I've always wanted to be a mother. Ever since I was a little girl growing up, I yearned for the day that I could have children. Having and bearing children is one of the wonderful gifts and miracles that God allows us to partake in. He's giving us a bit of his creative power to make life, and life is very similar to ourselves. It is a wonderful gift, and an incredible responsibility.

Some of the importance of family is found in, "The Family: A Proclamation to the World."

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

Together, fathers and mothers have been divinely created to help each other in the raising of children. For all of this to work, the house needs to be centered on God. For without God, we could not have had this wonderful power bestowed upon us. I know that being a good parent is a very difficult and demanding job at times; however, it is also very rewarding. There are going to be many sleepless nights, fights between parents and children, and tears shed, but there will also be lessons learned, faith shared, and family bonds strengthened.

For me, it is very important to start building my family soon after getting married. I am just so excited to start on this new adventure and I don't want to wait very long. Plus, as a future doctor (hopefully a pediatrician) there is no good time to start a family. If I were to wait until the money was perfectly stable, we both had good jobs, a good house, etc, we would never have kids. I think that I have reached the point in my life where I am ready to become a mother. I know that becoming a mother soon after getting married will put some strain and stress on my new marriage, and on finishing medical school, but I know that God will lead and direct Tim and I with what we should do, and how to obtain our goals. Children are wonderful blessings that are available to us. I know that I have been shown that by my own wonderful mother.

My mother wanted to have many kids, but she was blessed to only have me. She gave me so much love and affection through my growing up period, and even now, as I've entered adulthood. She has been there through sickness, heartaches, difficulties with school, working, and moving to different parts of the country. She has always been steadfast in her own faith, and has shown me the importance of putting others above herself. No matter how my mom is feeling physically, she puts on a smile and greets the day with happiness and joy. She knows that there are many others in worse situations and conditions than she is in, and tries to help them as best as she can. And she prays for everyone that she knows. I hope to become at least half of the mother that my mom is to me .

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles shared this message about the importance of motherhood: click here.

I know that it will be hard, but it will be worth it. I am making motherhood a priority in my life. I cannot wait to have children with my best friend, Timothy Harbison, at my side, with Christ leading and guiding our way.