The title I hold most dear

I've been thinking about writing about this topic for awhile, but then the busy-ness of life as an intern has caught up with me. Especially since I'm averaging 45-70 hours a week. Let me start off by saying that I don't regret it, becoming a doctor. I love being able to help out others, whether it's in the clinic, up on labor and delivery, or working weird hours at the hospital. I like knowing that I'm able to ease their suffering, for at least a period of time. However, there is something that I love even more.

Being a Mom. Yup, I would gladly stay awake a few extra minutes if that means I get to spend some time with my son. It's been very hard recently, since I've been on nights. I only get to see Preston, maybe an hour or two a day, and that's if he's not sleeping when I get up midday to get ready for work. I miss my little guy. I am so proud of everything he does, from his bashful goofy grin, to the way he tries to take in everything around him, to how he can't do anything quiet, period. He's my little man. I love the way his eyes light up at me whenever he sees my face, whether it's in person, or over the computer when I try to steal a few precious minutes with him while I'm at work. I never thought I could love a human being as much as I love my son.

I am so thankful to God that He has blessed Tim and I with our very sweet, very annoying and opinionated at times, son. I know that this is such a special gift, and I pray that God will continue to lead and guide Tim and I as we do our very best to raise him.

If you ever see me leave work quickly, it's because I'm going home to spend time with my loved ones, especially my son.

(And just to clear the air, Tim is the most amazing husband ever, and I could not do this whole parenting thing without him. Especially with me working crazy hours. Tim puts up with a lot home alone with Preston, and he makes me proud.)

Birth of Preston Reed Harbison

On Tuesday, April 19th, 2016, I woke up and felt like I was leaking some water. I was 37 weeks pregnant that day. It didn't feel like urine, so I checked myself and the consistency looked a lot different than anything I've noticed before. I decided to call the OBGYN to see what they thought. An hour later, they called me back and told me to go to the hospital to see if the water actually broke. Around noon they did the amnisure test, and it came back positive. I called Tim and let him know that my water broke. I was 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. He decided to head out, grab our bags, and come to the hospital. I then called my dad, and he was so surprised that my water had broke.

The midwife started me on cytotec, to help ripen my cervix. I wasn't having any consistent contractions, so I was fairly comfortable. Tim arrived around 3pm, and my parents arrived later around 10pm. Since I wasn't progressing super quickly that evening, the midwife decided to let me rest overnight, and then to increase me to pitocin the next day to get my contractions going. Tim spent the night in a rolling chair and I attempted to stay comfortable.

On Wednesday morning, they started me on pitocin and my contractions slowly started. By midday they decided to break the little bag of water that was cushioning Preston's head, and checked me. I was about 5cm dilated and 90% effaced. The next few hours they kept my pitocin consistent, and I got an epidural placed. I was quite nervous about that, so I had Tim give me a blessing and my Dad prayed over me. The epidural went better than I had anticipated it would, and my Mom comforted me during the placement. Soon, I was feeling a lot of discomfort, that I can best describe as needing to have a bowel movement, but not being able to. I had the midwife check me, and I was 10cm dilated, 100% effaced, but Preston was only at 0 station. (That meant that he was still in my pelvic rim). They wanted his head farther down before I started pushing. They then gave me the goal to hold off pushing for an hour to see if he could descend farther. I made it 45 minutes before I was too uncomfortable. That was 5:45pm. I then paged the midwife, and the team came in to help me push. I pushed in the normal position, on my left side, on my right side, and in the fetal position. He was still at 0 station and not making any progress. While I was in the fetal position, I was so uncomfortable that I was almost crying.

Then, Rachel, the midwife, got the idea to try a "tug-of-war" position. At that point I had been pushing over 2 hours and were worried that I would tire out before getting him out. To put me in the "tug-of-war" position, I got in the normal position, put my legs on two people, the midwife got in front of me with a sheet, and I grabbed the midsection of it on the count of three and pulled against her, pushed with my legs, and pushed with my lower region. It got me so entertained and laughing, especially since I was proving to be stronger than the midwife and the ER resident. It was so much fun. Then, the on call OBGYN, Dr. Alam, was around and they had her check me. Happily, Preston had descended a bit. They returned me to the normal position and did very targeted pushing for another 20 or so minutes. Finally, Preston was born at 8:45pm.

After he was born, they started to sew me back together. I had a third degree vaginal tear and a second degree periurethral tear that took over an hour to fix. I kept on watching Preston, who I couldn't really hold during that time, since they were fixing me up. Preston was 8lbs 5.3 ounces, 20.25". He had dark blue/gray eyes and blonde hair. Tim did a great job comforting the big guy. I was so glad that he was born 3 weeks early, otherwise, I probably would have had to deliver him via a c-section.

I was so glad that my parents were with me, to help support and comfort me. The entire medical and nursing team were excellent with their care, and Tim was my guardian angel. I could not have done it without him.

I love my little guy, and I know that God was guiding me and him the entire time.

I love my Preston Reed Harbison.

I'm so glad to be your mom.

Following the Lord's Lead

I've been considering writing this post for awhile. It's been quite an interesting few weeks, and my life has changed in many ways.

Prior to the start of match week for residency, I was under the impression that I would become an OB/GYN. I had fallen in love with the specialty during my third year, love everything about pregnancy, and have a special bond with women in general. However, come Monday afternoon I found out that not only did I not match into OB/GYN, but now I needed to scramble and find a residency program that would teach me. Because it's one thing to not end up in the specialty that you hoped to enter; it's another thing entirely to end up in no specialty at all. And that couldn't be an option for me.

Tim and I worked tirelessly together to come up with a list of 45 different hospitals that I could apply to, for OB/GYN, pediatrics, and family medicine. Out of those, I was really hopeful for at least one of the OB/GYN places to pan out. That evening, I got a phone call from Guthrie/Robert Packer Hospital, to discuss the possibility of me joining their family medicine program. I remembered working with them during my third year, really likely the attendings, and especially how the residents were treated and interacted with one another. I thought that this could be a doable fit, especially with the amount of electives that would allow me to tailor my training to be more OB/GYN and pediatrics based, as well as family medicine. I got a bunch more phone calls on Tuesday, which really made me feel good about myself for once. I'm the type of person who doesn't truly believe in herself, that my best isn't good enough. I'm the person who had to take the MCAT 3x, took a year off before medical school, and then really struggled and studied my butt off for just above passing scores on both of my boards. This has not been an easy process for me, but this is something that I truly love learning about and want to help others through this profession. The many phone calls and interviews helped boost my self-esteem and begin to realize that I am worth it.

Wednesday rolled around and my first offer for a job was through Guthrie/Robert Packer Hospital. I quickly took the job. I know that I will fit in well with the rest of the team. 

I recently received my paperwork to fill out for employment, and seeing my name written as Dr. Harbison, really made me smile and feel happy. I can do this!

Another interesting turn of events happened this past week, the week after the match. I officially hit 33 weeks this past Tuesday, Tim decided when he would stop working and start being a full-time Dad for a year, and we had a good headway on the nursery for our little Preston. I was at the hospital, going around with the pediatrics team in the ER checking on a couple of sick kids. I remember feeling a bit of pain in my lower abdomen, like really intense menstrual cramps. I had pain there, and in my lower back as well. I sat down, and started working on concentrating on my breathing, figuring that the pain would subside on its own. Soon, the pediatrician came by to check on me and convinced me to be checked out by labor and delivery. I got checked in and hooked up to the fetal heart monitor and the contraction monitor. Sure enough, I was having contractions, about 10-15 minutes apart.

A midwife came in and examined my cervix. She had a hard time getting to it, because it was so far back (good for me and baby) and it was closed and not effaced (thinned) at all. She also did a test called the Fetal Fibronectin test (FFN) to check to see if I started preterm labor. It came back as negative. She also took a urine sample to check if I had a UTI. While she was gone, the pain of the contractions continued, and I started to get very uncomfortable in bed. I finally rang the call bell (something I hate to do, because I hate bothering people) and asked for an update and told her about my pain. She noticed that the pain was not going away, and consulted with an OB/GYN. They decided to give me a liter of IV normal saline fluid, give me a shot of terbutaline to stop the contractions, gave me Tylenol 3 with codeine for pain, and ordered an ultrasound to check on Preston and to check out my cervix. At this point, I decided that I didn't want to be alone anymore, and told Tim to come to the hospital to join me. (I had been giving him updates on the phone).

The shot hurt like none other, made me feel very dizzy, and drove Preston crazy. I've never felt so much moving/thrashing inside my belly before. The fluids made me pee like crazy, and I don't think the Tylenol 3 did anything at all. Tim arrived after I was hooked up to the IV. We both got to see Preston during the ultrasound. We found out that he's measuring 35 weeks (2 weeks larger than dates) and is about 5lbs. The measurement on my cervix was 2.4 cm. Apparently, a good cervix that won't go into labor is 2.5 cm or larger. Due to the closeness of my length to being worrisome, I had a follow-up ultrasound scheduled for the next day.

On Wednesday, my ultrasound showed that my cervix was measuring 2.9 cm. However, the discrepancy of measurements could be due to having two different ultrasound machines and two different users. I spoke with the OB/GYN for a lengthy period of time. He said that he's still concerned about my cervical length. He wants to get another ultrasound of it next Tuesday. Plus, there is already some fluid and mucus pooling into my cervix, suggesting that Preston is starting to push a bit more downward, suggesting that my water could break a bit earlier. However, he doesn't think that I need to be put on bed-rest or to abstain from any of my remaining rotations. I could go into pre-term labor, or I could go to term. If my cervical length is still questionable on next Tuesday, he wants to give me a shot of steroids to help speed up Preston's lung development just in case I go into labor early. From my discussion with the OB/GYN, I believe that I have a slightly higher than normal chance of pre-term labor at this point.

If Preston does go to term, the OB/GYN suggested that I get an ultrasound around 39 weeks to check his size, because Preston is measuring so big, and I may not be able to push him out on my own. If that is the case, I will easily accept the option for a C-section. I don't want to risk any unnecessary trauma to my little guy in the birthing process.

All of this has been a bit nerve-wracking. Going from a decently normal pregnancy, to now one that has become a bit more interesting. To say that I'm totally nonchalant about the whole thing would be a lie. I am a bit concerned. I really don't want to give birth early, and then have to have Preston in the NICU at the hospital where I currently rotate, and not being able to be with him while I'm on rotations. That would tear me apart. However, it has been helpful to talk to my Mom, Dad, Tim, and some close friends about the subject. I've also been trying to rely on God more throughout this process. I know that God has a plan for me, Tim, and little Preston. I know that God is leading and directing everything. I don't always understand His ways, like ending up at Guthrie instead of an OB/GYN program, but I know that it's for the best. I know that God especially watches over his little children, and that He holds them close to His heart. The only thing I can do is pray, wait, watch, and learn. I'll hold fast to the promises that God has made to me and my family in the Scriptures. I'll hold fast to the covenants that I've entered into with God. And I'll do my best not to worry.

Trials of pregnancy and sources of hope

My second trimester hasn't been the easiest so far. I had about a week where I could barely sleep, and then almost 2 weeks where I could barely walk or move at all without being in a lot of pain. I had received a prenatal massage, and the masseur overworked my sacroiliac joint, causing all my adductors to flare, contract, and refuse to move. Or, in non-medical terms, she drove her elbow squarely into my butt muscles, screwed up the joint, and made it so all my inner groin muscles on my right side were upset. 

It got to the point where I wasn't sure what to do. I was resting from the gym, taking it easy on rotations, and Tim had caused me to be on "couch rest" to let my body heal. I was getting very frustrated. This prompted me to get a blessing of healing from my husband with another priesthood holder present. In the blessing, I remember hearing words to seek after God, to look to Tim for help, and that this burden I may have to bear for awhile longer. Also, that I was doing a very good job as a wife and as a future mother to my little one. This gave me some assurances that I was doing the right thing, but that I also needed to lean on God and Tim more. 

With those thoughts in mind, I started seeking help from a friend who was a chiropractor. She did help me start to feel better, but my joint would still flare and I could barely move in bed without crying. Tim then decided to check out my leg and muscles to see where exactly the problem was. We learned that when he moved my leg without me helping at all, that nothing hurt. As soon as I tried to move it, the pain flared. That suggested more of a muscular problem instead of a skeletal one. That prompted me to seek out a physical therapist. I was able to see the PT and show him exactly where the issues were. He figured it out, told me it wasn't just "round ligament pain" acting up, but my tight adductors, as I mentioned earlier. After he treated me, a few days later, I was able to walk comfortably. I have seen him only twice, but I can move so much better now. I can walk comfortably, move around without much pain, and go back to the gym. All of this happened because I sought God's guidance in the form of a blessing.

Blessings are a wonderful thing that worthy priesthood members can bestow on any person who asks for one. There are two types of blessings: blessings of healing and blessings of comfort. Blessings of comfort are helpful whenever there is something heavy weighing on a person's mind, a decision to make, or a tough crisis that the person is going through. Blessings of healing are for anyone who is sick or otherwise afflicted. Since I began investigating the LDS church, I have asked for blessings whenever I realized that I needed some more direct inspiration from God. It is wonderful to hear the words of God being spoken through chosen vessels, like missionaries, home teachers, or my husband. And I know that these men are not simply saying words that they are thinking of, but what God wants me to hear at that moment in time. I am so thankful for this church, and that we can still receive blessings. Even non-members can receive blessings from men of my church. All anyone needs to do is hope. There was never a time that I received a blessing that I later on regretted.

Remember always, to turn to God in the face of all things.

Reflections on the past year, baby gender reveal, and pregnancy thoughts

As the year of 2015 comes to a close, I am sitting on my couch with laptop under my ever expanding belly, watching my Russian tortoise, thinking about what this past year has brought. This year has been hard, for sure, but it has also been full of blessings. Last New Year's was the last time I saw Tim until right before our wedding. Our wedding had hiccups, like any wedding naturally does, but through it all, Tim and I pulled closer together. We've argued through the 8 months of being married, but we really don't fight as hard or meanly anymore. We've learned to compromise and how to work better as a team. We've battled sickness, hard times with jobs, uncertainty with residency, and major life changes, both good and bad. I can honestly say that I wouldn't change a thing, because it has led me to where we are today.

Today, we are a 2.5, or a 5.5, depending on how you look at it (2 adults, an over halfway grown baby in my uterus, 2 turtles, and 1 fish). Tim is employed at a company that keeps him on his toes, and pays him well. Our apartment is full to overflowing based on on the love and gifts that many people have given us. I am waiting to submit my match list so that I can hopefully enter the field of obstetrics and gynecology. And we are both anxiously waiting for our little baby boy to grow and develop well in me.

We had quite the gender reveal. We decided, more like Tim suggested and I agreed, and later on actually agreed with him fully that it was the right idea, to wait on learning the gender. We had the ultrasound technician turn off the screen when the gender part came on the screen, and had her put the picture in a sealed envelope for us. Then we had to wait for 9 days to see what our baby would be. We bought white clothing and beige pants to be stained with food coloring. We bought special black opaque balloons that would be filled with water and either red or blue food coloring. I invited a bunch of people, ended up having a small group showed, which worked out perfectly. We started the day prepping the food and then waiting around to put everything out, so it didn't become too cold or too warm. Once the guests arrived, adorned in either blue or pink, I pinned them with matching ribbons, and then had my dad pray over the food. We played a few games: answering old wive's tales about gender predictions, pin the baby on the stork, and baby pictionary. After that, we had the guests write wishes for our baby as we got changed. We trucked everyone outside, and then waited to get pelted with water balloons. Unfortunately, the balloons weren't filled up very full, so most of them bounced off of us. One finally did break, revealing blue. I then started picking up balloons and breaking them on myself. We are having a little boy.

We had made a short list of names that we liked, and that night, Tim and I prayed over what we should name our little boy. All throughout that night as I slept, one name kept reappearing in my dreams, "Preston Reed Harbison". I told Tim that when I woke up around 3am, and then we agreed when we were both fully awake later on.

I have to admit, I started out being nervous when the balloon broke and showed blue, and not red. As an only child, and being a girl, I don't have much experience with little boys, let alone raising them. I was routing for a girl, because I at least understand how girls think, since I am one. Boys are an entirely different story; getting dirty, getting in trouble, random injuries, and peeing standing up. But as the days have passed, I've become more calm and excited about being the mom of a boy. Yes, it will be hard and very stressful at times, but I am actually more equipped to handle it than I initially thought. Since I'm going to be a doctor, I do know how to take care of most minor injuries, the sight of blood doesn't phase me, and I was the girl who climbed trees in a dress and brought all sorts of animals from outside inside. I think I can handle this. I'm still not sure how to teach Preston how to pee standing up, but Tim reminds me not to worry, and just to take each thing day by day.

I've loved being able to feel Preston more and more every day. From about 12 weeks, when I first felt him squirm, to 17 weeks when I started to feel him daily, to now, 21 weeks when he gets really rambunctious and energetic when I sit in a certain position and gives me little love punches and kicks to me. I love seeing how he reacts to different things I eat, when Tim reads to him, or listening to different music. He's started to develop his own personality.

I love how my pregnancy has affected my husband. He's become even more loving and supportive. He now spends time talking to and rubbing my belly. He makes sure to read to Preston almost every other day, and is sure to kept me fed and in as little pain as possible (due to random pregnancy pains that really don't make much sense). I love seeing the excitement in his eyes and the playful way he teases Preston. I just wish that Preston wouldn't calm down whenever Tim puts his hand on my belly. Then, absence of movement starts. Oh well, soon he'll be able to easily tell the movements of his son.

I'm excited to see all that 2016 has in store for our little family. Finding out about residency, moving, Tim changing jobs, Tim maybe starting grad school, the birth of our son, my graduation from medical school, and so much more. I am so thankful for everything that God has done for us so far.

Becoming and Being Pregnant

I know that it has been quite awhile since I've last posted an update. Things have been busy, mostly in a good way. Tim and I have settled in NY for now and I've been going around to different hospitals learning how to practice medicine. In the midst of this, I became pregnant.

I've always wanted to be a mom. When I was little and growing up, I was wanting to have other siblings to play with. Unfortunately, my mom was only blessed in having me. That led to a greater desire to have many children of my own. A good amount, but not too many that we couldn't give enough love and affection for each of them.

As soon as Tim and I became serious with each other, we started thinking about when we would start a family. Like me, Tim has always wanted to be a parent. He's the guy who would offer to babysit the kids of his friends in school, and he's absolutely spectacular with kids. He is much better with them than I am. We knew that there would be no good time to have kids, especially with the careers that we're pursuing: me becoming an OBGYN doctor and Tim getting his PhD in physics. So, after much discussing, we prayed and asked Heavenly Father when it would be a good time to start trying. We got our answer that it was time to start in June.

Trying to get pregnant was both fun and frustrating at times. It became a bit of a pressure for both of us to get this to work, and every time I took a pregnancy test and it was negative, I was heartbroken. But we knew not to give up and to keep trying. It might take up to a year, because I know the statistics pretty well, given the specialty I'm planning on pursuing.

On a Friday night on the last day of September, I was helping Tim because he was struggling with some social concern. I knew that I needed to comfort him. The next day, I got the strong impression that I should take a pregnancy test. I wasn't due to start my period until that Tuesday, but I followed the prompting. It turned pretty quickly to positive. I called Tim in, and we both stared in shock. We then had to wait a few hours before I could take another test to confirm it. God had answered our prayers, and I was pregnant.

We were both so thrilled, and have been throughout this pregnancy so far. I'm currently at 18 weeks and 1 day. It has been an adventure: from seeing our little squish for the first time right before 9 weeks and hearing its heartbeat, to watching it squirm for us at 12 and 14.5 weeks. Baby is growing up so fast and getting so big. And now I'm feeling baby on a daily basis, which is such a blessing. This is why I'm so interested in the field of obstetrics and gynecology, I love the interplay between mom and baby, and I'm getting to observe it on a first hand basis.

The little nudges are like baby's way of trying to tell me, Hey Mom, I'm down here, just playing around, and can't wait to meet you and Dad. I have gotten to the point where I hold my hand on my abdomen and try to feel baby on the outside so that I can show Tim how to do it. 

This is such a great gift that God has bestowed on us. He gave all of us the potential to create life, just like He does. We just need to remember to use the gift and not to abuse it. And I am so thankful that I have Tim along with me in this process. I could never have managed to get this far on my own. It is such a great comfort to know that my best friend is alongside me, through the ups and downs of hormones, crazy sleeping, and my ever expanding belly. He is my right hand, my rock, and my spiritual guider. I thank God each and every day for him and his help.

Soon, we'll be getting the ultrasound to determine baby's gender. We're doing a reveal on Christmas Eve. Tim and I both want opposite genders, but what we really want is a healthy baby. Let's see what happens!

Eternal Marriage

My talk on Eternal Marriage from church

                Good morning everyone! For those of who you may not know me, my maiden name is Alicia Brown, and my recently married name is Alicia Harbison. I used to attend the Erie 2^nd ward during my first two years of medical school at LECOM. For the past year I have been living in Horseheads, NY rotating at Arnot Ogden Medical Center. I am currently a 4^th year medical student, who is back in Erie to study for my next big board exam that I will be taking at the beginning of July. I am very thankful to the different families that have opened up their homes for me and Tim to stay in for the past 4 weeks. We are so thankful for your generosity.

                I was given the topic of talking on “Eternal Marriage” and since Tim and I have almost been married for two months now, I thought I would start with a little bit on our story. At the beginning of my 3^rd year of medical school I moved to Horseheads, NY to start my rotations. I was attending the nearby ward, and trying to make friends. One of the young women that I met encouraged me to try to attend the YSA ward of the stake that met in Ithaca. I knew that this may be a bit difficult since I wasn’t living in the ward boundaries of the YSA. However, I got in contact with the branch President and started to attend FHE, institute, and then was officially allowed to go to the meeting that Sunday. I am very thankful to Bishop Duke and President Kreuger for allowing me to do this.

                Tim and I technically met that Monday at FHE where we watched “Frozen”. It wasn’t until the following Sunday during church that we ended up talking, since Tim had given a talk on Father’s Day, and I only knew his name because his name was in the program. I asked him where to go for the next part of church, and then asked if I could join him on a planned movie trip that he was attempting to do. We exchanged phone numbers, and as he puts it, I never stopped texting him since. By that Wednesday we were officially dating. Tim was in Ithaca for the summer due to an internship working on particle accelerators at Cornell University. He grew up in Dallas, TX and was about to start his senior year at BYU-Idaho majoring in physics. We had about 8 weeks of dating while in NY. Then he headed back to Idaho to finish school.

                We started talking about marriage and the importance of it early on. By the time Tim left, we knew that we wanted to get married, both sets of parents knew, and we knew it would only be a long waiting game until Tim graduated for us to get married. Thankfully, I had already set up a rotation in Idaho and then had a break month afterwards which allowed us to be reunited in the fall when Tim proposed, and Tim spent Christmas with my family and me. Then we had about 4 months until I saw him after he graduated. We were sealed in the Palmyra, NY temple on April 25, 2015. It has been extremely hard, meshing two different lives and points of views together, but it has been very worthwhile. Neither of us knew how hard it would be, but we both agree that this is one of the best decisions we have ever made.

                Keeping Christ and the temple in the center of our relationship from the beginning is what made this relationship different for me from any other relationship. We knew of the eternal potential, and wanted us to go the distance together, with Christ at the head. I’ve been in other relationships in the past where one or both of us had different views on God, and that definitely led to their demise. Having a solid foundation in the gospel and its truths helped nurture us.

                From the Bible Dictionary on the topic of marriage, it reads, “Latter-day revelation tells us that marriage under the law of the gospel and the holy priesthood is for eternity, and that men and women thus sealed in marriage continue to have children throughout eternity.” And from Preach my Gospel, “Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and is central to God’s eternal plan for the salvation of His children….[this] enables family relationships to endure beyond the grave.” It goes on to say that the marriage can only be eternal when performed with the sealing power in the temple and if the couple follows the covenants that they have made both together and individually.

                This is what makes marriages in our church significantly different from other people’s marriages. It deals some with wording, a lot with covenants, and what the person believes. For example, I have been to a couple of non LDS weddings after joining the church and it felt so sad to me to hear the words, “til death do us part”. The marriages that those couples have entered into is only temporal, and I have a good guess that most of them would want to be with their spouse forever, but they weren’t sealed. In Matthew 16: 19 Christ is talking to Peter saying, “And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” And later on in Kirtland, OH, Elijah appeared to Joseph Smith and gave him the key to the same sealing power, to once again bind people together for all eternity. This has been passed down through the priesthood to various sealers in different places through the years. That’s why we talk about being married for time and all eternity. For those of us who have been sealed to our spouse, we know that we will stay united forever.

                Eternal marriage is not only to keep love birds together, but it is also essential for our eternal progression. In Doctrine and Covenants 131: 1-4, “In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees: And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]: And if he does not, he cannot obtain it. He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase.” What this passage is saying is that through the eternal covenant of marriage, we help each other make it to the highest degree of the celestial kingdom. By loving each other, following the commandments, and keeping true to the covenants we entered into, we exalt each other. I am as important to Tim’s salvation as Tim is to mine.

                Another interesting part of marriage is the melding together of two separate people into one whole. This is talked about in Matthew 19: 4-6, “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Tim did exactly this. He moved from one side of the country to another, without knowing anybody else really at all, just so that he and I could start our lives together. It has been an interesting change, going from just thinking about how something would affect one person’s life to how it affects both. Trying to put the other person ahead of yourself, just like how Christ taught us to love each other. This is done through a lot of talking, trust, and communication.

                With eternal marriage comes eternal families. Where we are put into family units that are started originally in heaven, come down to earth, meet up, start having children, and then can continue to have children in the eternities. It is one of the earliest commandments, “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it” (Gen 1:26-28). We were given a wonderful commandment to bear children and rear them up in the way of the Lord. A good description of this comes from Sermons and Missionary Services, “There is a passage in our Scriptures which the Latter-Day Saints accept as divine: ‘This is the glory of God – to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man’. Likewise we could say that this is the glory of men and women – to bring to pass the mortality of the sons and daughters of God, to give earth-life, through honorable marriage, to the waiting spirits, our Father’s spirit children who anxiously desire to come to dwell here in this mortal state. All the honor and glory that can come to men or women by the development of their talents, the homage and the praise they may receive from an applauding world, worshipping at their shrine of genius, is but a dim thing whose luster shall fade in comparison to the high honor, the eternal glory, the ever-enduring happiness that shall come to the woman who fulfils the first great duty and mission that devolves upon her to become the mother of the sons and daughters of God.” What a spectacular glory that will be. I know that Tim and I eagerly anticipate that day.

                I would like to conclude my talk by bearing my testimony. I know that this gospel is true. I know that God has a plan in mind for each of us, one better than we could have ever imagined. That’s what led Tim and I to each other a little over a year ago, and we are both eternally better for it. I know of the truthfulness of eternal marriages, the struggles that come, but that we can grow better and closer to each other as we follow our covenants and commandments of God. I would also like to thank this ward who first took a shy girl into their arms back in October 2012 when I first joined the church. You all made this transition so much better. I say all these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.